Forget Sparks. They’re going to outlaw that junk anyway. The next big thing is this totally serious product we saw written up in the Onion:
According to makers of the nervous-energy drink Pace!, the new beverage provides consumers with the same anxiety, restlessness, and self-doubt associated with waiting for a phone call from a much-desired female acquaintance.
Fortunately for the world of comedy, the phone does actually ring, eventually, leading to skits like this:
Happy Friday. Have fun on that date tonight!