The buzz on HUB 51, run by Melman-spawn R.J. and Jerrod, might have died down just a tidge. But we’re still uncovering new ways in which the restaurant piques our interest.
You see, besides posting humdrum Craigslist ads to fill available positions, they also include this handy little youtube link. Which is also on their website. Which takes us to perhaps the most deeply weird recruitment video we have ever seen (it appears down at the bottom of this post).
While researching this ridiculous piece of filmography, we uncovered — via the always on the ball Chicago Dining Examiner — that les freres Melman offer a similar brand of humor with their house rules:
• LIMITED RESERVATIONS ACCEPTED, CALL US AT 312-828-0051 TO CHAT.
• PARTIES LARGER THAN 8 WILL PROBABLY BE SEATED AT TWO TABLES.
• MUSIC IS AT THE VOLUME WE LIKE. EAR PLUGS AVAILABLE UPON REQUEST.
• THE CUSTOMER IS USUALLY RIGHT.
• SATISFACTION GUARANTEED - JUST TALK TO US.
• WE ACCEPT $$$, MC, VISA, AMEX.
• 18% GRATUITY ADDED TO PARTIES OF 6 OR MORE.
• NO ESPRESSO. STARBUCKS DOWN THE BLOCK.
• VANS ARE OUR SHOE OF CHOICE. CHECK THEM OUT.
• APPROPRIATE DRESS REQUIRED. GENTLEMEN, NO HATS.
• GUYS, NO TANK TOPS. TRUST US, WE’RE DOING YOU A FAVOR.
• LEGAL DRINKING BEGINS AT 21 YEARS OF AGE.
• NO SMOKING INDOORS. OUTDOORS? OK.
• FEEL FREE TO TALK TO STRANGERS.
• INTOXICATED? WE’LL CALL YOU A CAB.
• WE PROUDLY SERVE ROARING LION ENERGY DRINK - GRRRR, IT’LL GETCHA.
• BOTTLE SERVICE? SURE THING, 12 OZ. BOTTLED BEERS. SEE LIST ABOVE.
• NO COVER CHARGE.
We approve of the sartorial edict against dudes in tank tops (seriously, menfolk, WTF), and admit to a bit of a chortle at the dig on bottle service. We are less than jazzed by the plugs for footwear and energy beverages, but we have more or less resigned ourselves to living in a totally advertising-saturated society, so we will just get back to our crotchety ways and reminisce about the time our high school BFF went to the bar mitzvah of one of the owners of Hub 51, and wonder if we can hit her up for any juice to fuel a future scandal-mongering post.
And now, the recruitment vid. Caution: girls in bikinis and marginally offensive Asian stereotypes ahoy: