Today in showdown, dadaist masterpiece Duchamp (2118 North Damen Ave, 773 235 6434), which opens today. You’ll note that the name of the restaurant is not, as is our wont, a hyperlink to its page in the MenuPages restaurant directory. This is because the contents of this restaurant’s menu is such a complete and total secret that when we spoke directly to the nice PR folks in charge of its image, they sadly informed us that we couldn’t have the menu so much as a day before opening. Because this is serious stuff, folks. This is Defcon freaking 5. Anyway, we now have the menu (note: it actually looks quite fantastic), and it will be up on the site in mere days.
Until then! Let’s see what email machines UrbanDaddy and last time’s loser, DailyCandy, pulled out of their hats based on the press release.
UrbanDaddy’s take on…
a cutesy title: A Little Surreal
the skills of the chef: “Like the restaurant’s Dadaist namesake, Marcel Duchamp, acclaimed chef Michael Taus (Zealous) unleashes his playful side, turning everyday edibles into objets d’art.”
weekend gimmicks: “just so things don’t get too stuffy, Taus plans to throw dress-down barbecues on Sunday afternoons, where he’ll flip burgers and grill Chorizo and Egg Quesadillas.”
potential downsides: “In this case, the seating is communal. We know what you’re thinking: fine for Randolph Street, but sort of drag for a neighborhood spot. And you’re right.”
DailyCandy’s take on…
a cutesy title: “Hot or Not?”
the skills of the chef: “enjoy top-notch grub prepared by chef Michael Taus (Zealous).”
weekend gimmicks: “Bust out the fat pants for Duchamp’s Sunday backyard barbecue (weather permitting).”
a completely inexplicable opening sentence: “In T-minus three months, you’ll transform your apartment into a bomb shelter replete with sun lamps and Spam.”
Winner: UrbanDaddy, who did a decent enough job (points for knowing that Duchamp-the-artist was known for controversy!), but to be honest, their victory is only an externality of…
Loser: DailyCandy, in a scathing, flaming loss. It’s worth noting that along with the really deeply un-parseable first sentence — Bomb shelter? Spam? Is this a reference to winter? Do we know anyone who bunkers down in their apartment during the winter and eats nothing but Spam? — and the cringe-inducing mention of “fat pants,” there are also zero references to Dada, surrealism, or the artist Marcel Duchamp. And, um, we are uninclined to chalk this up to restraint on the part of the DC writer. If you catch our drift.
Thanks for playing, everyone! See you next time!