The Dictators’ Punk Rock Food Rules

Indeed.

Praise Lemmy, The Official Punk Rock Book of Lists is now out. Edited by ex-Dictators singer Handsome Dick Manitoba, the book’s got a surprising amount of food column. There’s Mykel Board (anyone else remember Maximumrocknroll?) on “Nine Ways That Vegetarians Are Destroying the Earth,” Jon Spencer on “14 Foods to Avoid on Tour” and even a list written by Mario Batali. New York’s Grub Street blog gave us a sneak preview of the book… and Handsome Dick Manitoba’s five favorite pizza toppings:


1. Sausage: NOT pepperoni. I HATE PEPPERONI. There’s lots of shitty sausage in the world. It’s gotta be great-quality sausage. It’s like a great tomato. Most are mediocre, but when you get a good one, it’s one of the world’s great foods. Same with sausage— high-quality, flavorful, thinly sliced, well done, CRISP. The perfect accompaniment.

2. Soppresotta: Here’s a MANITOBAN food idea: Instead of sheepishly saying, “Okay, I’ll pick from the list,” when you enter your pizzeria and see the list of extras, why not bring in some thin slices of spicy soppresotta from your local deli? Chop ’em up, ask the pizza maker to “throw this on top of my slice, please.” Make the slice hot, so the meat gets chewy, crispy, slightly oily from the fat. THIS HAS TEXTURE! Texture, baby, texture — the true sensuality of food. Flavor is obvious, but texture is sexy! Sprinkle grated cheese on top, and you have the second-best slice goin’! By the way, if your pizza maker doesn’t do this “extra stuff that you bring in yourself” thing for free, then find yourself a new pizzeria!

3. Anchovies: I adore anchovies. I like the way, when heated, they release their fishy oils all over the slice. Get napkins!! Grated cheese and hot red pepper flakes are a must on top of the little fishies. If you don’t like anchovies, then you’re too squeamish! I hope for your sake this doesn’t spill over into other categories in life!

4. Black olives, fresh garlic, grated cheese, hot red pepper flakes: These make for a great, chewy, overstimulating concoction. (I’ve been told I’m a stimulation freak — that’s why I like hot pepper so much.) As you can see, grated cheese and hot pepper flakes are a must in the Pizza World of Handsome Dick Manitoba.

5. Sliced meatballs, thinly sliced boiled ham, fresh littleneck clams: This is the “whatever floats your boat” category. There’s a legendary pizza joint in New Haven, Connecticut, that does an amazing clam/garlic pizza. [Ed. note: HDM is no doubt thinking of both Sally’s and Frank Pepe’s.] Contrary to what my pal, world famous chef Mario Batali, sez, I love grated cheese on top of my clam pizza, or for that matter, linguine with white clam sauce. (Mario don’t like the cheese on da’ fish!) All this stuff in this category works well with pizza. Just don’t get too California. NO PINEAPPLE, CHICKEN, OR GOOFY VEGETABLES! It might be food, but it won’t retain its pizza status. California f***ed up the great American hamburger (lettuce, tomato, onions, ketchup, and mustard) — don’t let ’em f*** up the greatest punk rock food of all — PIZZA!

Indeed.

Praise Lemmy, The Official Punk Rock Book of Lists is now out. Edited by ex-Dictators singer Handsome Dick Manitoba, the book’s got a surprising amount of food column. There’s Mykel Board (anyone else remember Maximumrocknroll?) on “Nine Ways That Vegetarians Are Destroying the Earth,” Jon Spencer on “14 Foods to Avoid on Tour” and even a list written by Mario Batali. New York’s Grub Street blog gave us a sneak preview of the book… and Handsome Dick Manitoba’s five favorite pizza toppings:

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The Dictators’ Punk Rock Food Rules