And that’s not even the half of it! Let’s go through MP’s newest listings, annotated with their kookiest menu items:
• Asian Mix Cafe: Crispy Golden Wings - chicken wings served with spicy sweet & sour sauce ($5; it’s what you get when you fry an angel)
• Beans & Bagels (Ravenswood; Uptown): the Korntucky sandwich, with tuna, cheddar, dijon mustard, on polish rye ($4.85; contains no corn!)
• Connoisseur: Creole Napoleon, which is creole tomato, feta cheese and spring mix with a balsamic vinaigrette ($8; it was spelled “Napolean” on the copy of the menu they faxed us)
• Frankie’s 5th Floor Pizzeria: Left Hand Milk Stout beer ($4.95; sounds like a sleazy sexual maneuver)
• King Cafe: Berry & Blue Salad with strawberries, Maytag blue cheese, candied pecans & sherry vinaigrette ($6; sounds like a 70s band)
• Lockwood: Surf, Turf And Turf, consisting of prime filet mignon, braised short ribs, butter poached Maine lobster; puree potatoes, sautéed spinach, sauce béarnaise, sauce bordelaise ($52; holy moly. Also, their website doesn’t have prices but we totally do!)
• Mythos Greek Taverna: Kolokythakia Keftedes, or zucchini & cheese patties served with a side of skordalia ($9; transliterations give us the giggles)
• Nonna’s Italian Pizzeria: The Big Daddy sandwich, i.e. Italian beef and sausage combo topped with green peppers, onions, and marinara sauce ($6.45; “Big Daddy” makes us think of the Golden Girls)
• Prosecco: Lumache Di Romano, a.k.a. snail, prosciutto di Parma, vecchia Romagna garlic cream reduction ($11; did not know the Italians do snail, but not surprised)
• Troha’s Chicken & Shrimp House: Upper 10 ($0.92 a can; it’s the poor man’s 7-Up)
