Gifting: Morton’s Autographed Steak Bible & Pewter Pig Lamp

Which word do you more closely associate with Christmas: steak, or bible? Why choose! Morton’s is offering their Steak Bible, 240 hardcover pages of recipes, photos and God knows what else, for the low introductory rate of $21 (it’s normally $30).

This is an exceptionally unexceptional gift, of course. Corporate and lower-middlebrow, we’d be mildly offended if we received it this holiday season. HOWEVER, there are several presents on Morton’s gift page (click on “Morton’s Store”) that would tickle us to death. It goes without saying that we’d appreciate a $2,500 gift card, the absurd upper limit given on the website. Although we imagine that if you call them up, the sky’s the limit.

But the real prize here is the pewter pig lamp. Oh hell yes! May our humble home be illuminated not but by these porcine beacons. Are they really on the tables at Morton’s? If so, why not pewter cow lamps? But who are we to judge genius, especially at the reasonable rate of $80 a pop.

In the future, we’ll be able to grow these lamps with stem cells!

Morton’s, The Steakhouse (Loop) [MenuPages]

Morton’s, The Steakhouse (Gold Coast) [MenuPages]
Morton’s, The Steakhouse [Official Site]

[Photo: “…contented pig, resting on his laurels after a satisfying meal…”, Morton’s]

Gifting: Morton’s Autographed Steak Bible & Pewter Pig Lamp