Brawndo… It’s Got Electrolytes!

Brawndo: The Thirst Mutilator [Official Site]

If you haven’t seen it, well… here’s Wikipedia’s take on the movie:


A montage of vignettes, accompanied by a voiceover, explains the concept of unintelligent people enthusiastically outbreeding competent people, creating a future society which is irreversibly less functional. Demographic superiority now favors those least likely to advance the interests of society. Consequently, the children of educated elites become overwhelmed in a sea of promiscuous, illiterate, beer-swilling, jet ski-crashing peers. In 2005, Army librarian Joe Bauers (Luke Wilson), the military’s “most average” soldier, and Rita (Maya Rudolph), a prostitute who is terrified of her pimp, Upgrayedd (up•grade), are selected as guinea pigs for a year-long secret military hibernation project. The pair are sealed into coffin-like chambers, but the experiment is forgotten when the officer in charge is arrested on prostitution charges. The military base is later demolished, and a Fuddruckers (eventually devolving into Buttf***ers in the future) is built on the site. Five hundred years into the future, Joe’s and Rita’s containers are jarred open in the ‘Great Garbage Avalanche of 2505’, reviving both of them. Joe crashes into the apartment of an idiotic citizen named Frito Pendejo (Dax Shepard). (Frito’s name is also a reference to his lack of intelligence, as pendejo is colloquially used in Spanish to mean “dumb***”. The name is also a reference to Frito Bandito, a short-lived mascot for Frito corn chips.) Feeling disoriented after a brief conversation with Frito, who insults Joe’s more advanced manner of speech, Joe visits the hospital where Dr. Lexus (Justin Long) diagnoses him as simply “‘tarded” and “f***ed up”. Lexus erupts into panic when he discovers Joe has no barcode tattoo on his wrist and cannot be scanned for payment, and Joe finally learns that 500 years have elapsed since the Army placed him into stasis. He is disturbed by the sight of the world falling apart outside a nearby window and flees the hospital, only to be arrested at a Carl’s Jr. vending booth for failing to pay his hospital bill and not having a standard-issue tattoo.

Brawndo: The Thirst Mutilator [Official Site]

Tags:

Brawndo… It’s Got Electrolytes!