Amuse-Douche is a new feature where we mock our reviewers not for being illiterate or shills, but instead for their utter ‘bagginess
Yesterday afternoon, a rather horrible, albeit quite favorable review was left for [REDACTED], a near West pizzeria. A bad man, possibly a shill, wrote:
I love this place. My wife is really fat and it is hard to get her filled up at most restaurants. She was full after visiting [REDACTED]. The food was so tasty . She ate large pizzas by herself. The owner even helped roll her to the curb.
We were warily okay with it until the last sentence, which is petty, vindictive, unnecessary, and really, not funny. This man is why sitcoms are so vapid, and he should be duly punished. If it is, in fact, a shill, then may the pizza place suffer an inexplicable and dramatic loss of business. Either way, someone should pay dearly!