40 things

This seems like a good day to devote to booze. You’ll probably be drinking a lot this week, and by next Tuesday you’ll be ready to throw in the towel once and for all. Well, make a list and check it twice before you do, bub. Our friends at Modern Drunkard magazine have done so, to our delight. Some of these are really touching, some are hilarious and some are not bloody likely:

7.) Buy a crowded bar a round.
For no reason at all. Jump up on a barstool and shout it loud: “A round for the house! On me!” Make sure you have a good toast ready, because, for once, they’ll all be listening.

There’s also:

29.) Eat a pickled egg from the big jar.
A bar must own a certain amount of character to carry the big jar. Maybe you’ve seen one. A jar large enough to hold Jay Leno’s head, populated with slightly off-color eggs floating in a murky fluid. You always wondered what they tasted like and it’s time to find out.

And, of course:

20.) Sit in on an A.A. meeting.
Not all accomplishments are rum and games. File this under the heading of facing your fears. Just as Jonah found enlightenment in the belly of a beast, so will you. You may come to look at it as a sober examination of the safety net (or trampoline, as the case may be). You may view it as a cautionary trip to hell. Either way, you’ll never have to wonder again.

That last one’s good. For a magazine that caters to chronic alcoholics, they can sure throw in a reality check once in a while. Anyway, you should really read the whole article.

40 Things Every Drunkard Should Do Before He Dies [Modern Drunkard]