We’ve long thought that most fortune cookie messages are truly absurd. Prior to now, however, we were mostly just incredulous that we regularly received messages like “The weather is wonderful” and “You will be invited to a karaoke party.” Now, however, it seems that a more pressing problem has arisen in the world of messages found in baked goods. Apparently, Wonton Foods, the world’s largest manufacturer of fortune cookies, decided that they wanted their cookies to be “a little bit more value-added. … We wanted to get some different perspective, to write something that is more contemporary.”
How did this “different perspective” manifest itself? Oh, you know, just in fortunes like “Today is a disastrous day. If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em”, “It’s over your head now. Time to seek professional help”, and our personal favorite “Your luck is just not there. Attend to practical matters today.”
Some diners have complained, but we think these new-style fortune cookies are pretty hilarious (most especially when you picture them juxtaposed with the series of lucky numbers and Chinese word on the back of the fortunes). If we opened a cookie to find a slip of paper that suggested “Perhaps you’ve been focusing too much on yourself”, we’d probably giggle. After all, it can’t be much worse than the message we once received: “Your stupidity will be your downfall.” So true. So true.