We have espoused our fascination with Padma Lakshmi in these pages before; after all, she’s the closest thing we’ve got to culinary-intelligentsia-royalty, miraculously without being any of those things herself. Last we heard about Padma’s on-again-off-again relationship with Salman Rushdie, the two were getting married. No wait, divorced. No wait, sucking face at Keep a Child Alive benefit after-party in New York last week! Ahh!!! Is Salman the child that Padma is keeping alive? That seems to be the most reasonable explanation. Also, Jada Yuan of NYMag seems to think it has something to do with the open bar. Before the event, Padma was asked how she chose the menu for the event (of course she was choosing the menu). She replied “Short ribs are good because they sit well and they put a good base down for alcohol.” Well yeah, if you eat them. Otherwise you just end up floating over to your ex and then getting your pretty little figure splashed all over the gossip pages. Again. And how do you think it makes Salman feel? A bit jerked around, we’d imagine. We don’t mean to put words in his mouth, but, like, “can’t the bitch make up her mind?” Because the kicker is, she left without him, and he without her (and she seemed to be the one upset about it, if you weren’t confused enough). Oh, the heartache! Oh, the drama! More please.
p.s. “Padma Will Have the Salman” is funny and we wish we had thought of it