God Is There A Lot Of Crap Going On Tonight: Halloween Edition

While we prefer savory food holidays to sweet food holidays, nobody doesn’t like Halloween on some level, at least. Transgression of norms! Etcetera. But for it to really be Halloween, you have to do something, unfortunately. If you’re a parent with young children, then you’re all set with trick-or-treating and whatnot, and can feel free to stop reading. Parents with older children, or anyone over the age of 35, really, don’t have to do squat except turn off the lights and lock the doors (sometimes we wish we were old and lived in a single-occupancy dwelling, you see). Cool people already have a party to go to. This leaves the boring and the pathetic, who are all dressed up with no place to go - fear not! We have some ideas for you, in alphabetical order because we can’t help ourselves:

Cans is hosting a party tonight that they’re sort of calling “Get off your can,” which is in the spirit of the introduction to this post. Possible prizes include a 24” LCD TV, and you should keep in mind their $6 pumpkin-tinis.

Crew has the best-named party we’ve seen so far: Eighties Hades. We love unexpected rhymes! There will be 80s music, obviously, $175 in prizes, and Ichabod Pumpkin Ale. What would be an appropriate costume? Richard Simmons, maybe.

Mad River is having that objectionable $500 “Sexiest Female” contest we told you about last week. How low can your brow go?

Mary’s is having this kooky Carpenters-on-Carpenter event, and no, it’s not what you’d want that to mean; instead, it’s a drag send up of John Carpenter’s Halloween, set to The Carpenters. It’s $10 at 8pm, and they advise to get there early. If you can’t make it, there’s ScaryOke (brilliant) at 9:30, and then a costume contest at 11:30. $3 well drinks!

Paramount Room thinks Halloween is for chumps and gringos. They’re having a Dia de Los Muertos party instead, but reading the details (costume contest, Jack Daniel’s shots, and music including “spooky surf favorites”), it just sounds like a humdrum Halloween party with a slightly fancier name. Except that there will be Day of the Dead-themed art, and free food (not Mexican, though).


[Photo: dress up as her! susiroh.de/flickr]

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God Is There A Lot Of Crap Going On Tonight: Halloween Edition