Restroom Report

Packing Heat Inside the Letrina of Rancho Jubilee

You don't need to bring the party to this bathroom.
You don’t need to bring the party to this bathroom.haha Photo: Daniel Maurer

If you’ve been to Rancho Jubilee, the totally coco-loco Dominican restaurant in the wilds of Elmhurst that’s fashioned after an over-the-top beach hut (thatch roofing, cavelike plaster ceilings, stuffed turkeys and roosters, waiters in tropical shirts), it’s probably because you had five hours to kill before a flight out of La Guardia a few blocks away and you thought you might as well spend it drinking tequila from a coconut, and then a pineapple, and then a cantaloupe, and then a flaming volcano. Does it beat drinking at the airport bar? Oh, yes. And do the bathrooms beat the ones near Gate 14? Claro que si, papi!

The island aesthetic, writ minimalist.haha

Concept: Follow the neon sign that says “Letrina,” go through the curtain of rope, and you’re in a cave’s outhouse.

Privacy: The stall doors — paneled with logs — are so close to the sink and urinals that you’ll have to rely on the blaring meringue music to give you any sort of cover.

Amenities: The sink is a mass of corn kernels and sunflower seeds under Plexiglas. The toilet is completely covered in wood slats so it looks a handmade latrine (there’s a cute little cutout where the flusher is).

Drawbacks: There’s so little space in the stalls that the wastebaskets are placed on top of the toilet.

Strategy: Did we mention this place sells Sniper vodka — in a rifle-shaped bottle? Buy the bottle and “kill yourself” in the stall.

Rating: 2 stars


Packing Heat Inside the Letrina of Rancho Jubilee