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Adam Platt Finds the Moral in Last Night’s ‘Top Chef’

Tre and CJ let fear, luck, and truffles carry the day.
Tre and CJ let fear, luck, and truffles carry the day.

On last night’s episode of Top Chef, after an inane “culinary bee” resulted in Casey being granted immunity, the chefs were made to pair off and create frozen pasta dinners. They were then judged by a panel that included guest Rocco DiSpirito (who you may know as spokesman for Bertolli frozen dinners). The horribly misaligned Hung-Joey and Howie-Sara teams resulted, predictably, in disaster, with Joey getting the boot and weeping for the camera. (We’ll have a Q&A; with him later today.) Shocked, we immediately ran to the computer to compare notes via IM with the decidedly unsentimental Adam Platt.

Ozersky: That was so moving. I had to pull myself together for this chat.

Platt: I have to give it to Joey. He went out in operatic fashion.

Ozersky: It’s true, he did. But what an idiotic challenge. This one should go down in the Product Placement Hall of Shame.

Platt: True. And what a surprise to see the elfin Rocco furiously peddling those bags of frozen pasta during the commercial breaks!

Ozersky: They should have him peddling Botox. He’s two injections away from turning into Jocelyn Wildenstein.

Platt: I sort of liked the challenge. The best part was teaming up the chefs. It resulted in all sorts of psychodramas. I mean Joey wouldn’t have cried if Hung hadn’t made him screw up so bad. That dish looked like it had been napalmed.

Ozersky: You must be happy that CJ — “the Giant,” as you call him — won a challenge at last.

Platt: I was happy for the Giant. Though poor Tre always looks so serious and petrified and severe. He acts like Colicchio’s a five-star general.

Ozersky: I know … his parents must have cautioned him as a youth against celebrating before the game was won. The brash New Yorkers are going out in a hurry, and the low-key types like Tre are hanging around. There may be a lesson in that, Platty.

Platt: The lesson is keep your nose clean, don’t get paired with volatile short guys in ridiculous frozen-food challenges on ridiculous reality-TV shows, and use truffle products at every opportunity.

Ozersky: Were you afraid Howie would exit tonight?

Platt: No, they’ve got to keep the bulldog around because he adds good theatrical value. But it’s only a matter of time before he goes completely postal. He’s going to clock someone with a frying pan.

Platt: There’s also one other minor matter. He can’t cook. Eventually Padma’s going to tire of his pork preparations.

Ozersky: Please. No one ever tires of pork preparations. You know that. Just like no one ever tires of gorgeous stoner models who talk in slow motion.

Related: Adam Platt Leads the ‘Top Chef’ Backlash
‘Top Chef’ Wannabes, Now Is Your Chance — to Get Baked With Padma Lakshmi

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