What’s Scarier: The Jumping Sturgeon Or The Man Who Loves Them?

Okay, so NYTimes doesn’t like people using their photos on blogs. Fine: click on this and then come right back. Okay, are you back? If your eyeballs didn’t melt out of their sockets, read on. This man is the subject of the final photo in a slide show accompanying an article on massive, deadly jumping sturgeon in Florida’s rivers. Up to 8 feet long and 200lbs, these monsters can collapse lungs and shatter pelvises and what have you. But they’re not all bad; the caption accompanying the illicit photo reads “Jim Tomey, sitting by the riverbank, said watching for sturgeon was his summer ritual. ‘I love to come down here,’ Mr. Tomey said, ‘and sit and watch them fish jump.’” Damn straight! Jumping fish are weird and ungodly, which makes them thrilling to behold. Maybe not for a whole summer, but then again, you’re not as cool as this guy.

Meanwhile, you want to eat some sturgeon? Custom House has some cured sturgeon for lunch (served with juniper Creme Fraiche and Fuji apples, $12), and Half Shell has an appetizer of smoked sturgeon & onions for $10.60. If you’ve only eaten caviar, you’re missing out on some delicious mother, believe you us. Mr. Tomey told us so.

Mr. Tomey’s five minutes in the sun [NYTimes]

Summertime. Fish Jumping. That’s Trouble. [NYTimes, giving up on sentence structure]

Custom House [MenuPages]

Half Shell [MenuPages]

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What’s Scarier: The Jumping Sturgeon Or The Man Who Loves Them?