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Friday the 13th seems like an appropriate way to cap off a week that saw plenty of bad luck around the Menuniverse. So, we’re putting on our Debbie Downer caps and recapping the depressing week that was.

MP: Boston felt old and confused because of new chalupa technology, got depressed that the “best” fried chicken in Boston is at a fast food chain (yuck), and then lost her beloved trans-fats, and if that wasn’t enough, there’s a rash of bee AIDS buzzing around Beantown.

MP: Chicago shared some poor fortune that hit the Windy City, including a “malevolent batch” of hummus at a local restaurant, broken-down autos, heart attacks and illiteracy.

It wasn’t the most charmed week in Philadelphia either, as MP: Philly found a steakhouse without a house and a restaurant with one less patio (was Hurley involved?) as the Phillies readied to become the first professional sports team to lose 10,000 games.

Oh, and everyone hopped on the Bastille Day bandwagon. We think Debbie Downer would point out the irony of the freedom celebration, seeing as how the French Empire maintained forceful colonies well into the 20th century, oppressing the native people of western Africa, Vietnam and Quebec.

Meanwhile …