What’s the next best thing to going out to a restaurant for barbecue and ice cream? If you said “making them yourself,” then we can’t be friends anymore. No, the hot new thing is getting other people to prepare those items exclusively and expressly for you at considerable expense, and bringing them to your doorstep. Don’t worry, the payoff for this convoluted setup is fast approaching. Ready? Let’s go!
Step 1: Call up Honky Tonk Barbeque, a BBQ catering company that brings the pit right to your party. But you don’t really have to be having a party for them to come over and spit-roast an entire pig for you - just a party’s budget, and a huge refrigerator. In fact, they can cater for 25 to 1,200 (a scary thought, even under the best of circumstances), and provide country music and line dancing on request.
Step 2: Call the ice cream hotline (payoff; 312-565-6665) and likely leave a message for executive chef Noah Bekofsky of the Fairmont Chicago, including your name, phone number, and when you’d like your ice cream.
Come again? That’s right, the guy who runs Aria will make you a completely customized pint (or pints, why not) of ice cream using any ingredients you’d like. DailyCandy, which tipped us off, suggests avocado or paprika - not unreasonable options. Or if you want to go hog wild (wink), take the Fairmont up on their Ice Cream Lovers Package, which includes a night’s stay, in-person consultation on your ice cream, and a late checkout, all for $272. Given the steep price for artisanal gelato these days, that’s practically a bargain.
Step 3: Digest. You need fiber and an antacid, don’t you…
[Photo: Pulled pork and slaw, Honky Tonk Barbeque]