We were getting ready to write an Elsewhere In The Menuniverse (like this one from last week), when we noticed a disturbing trend emerging on the coasts that we simply had to bring to your attention: an epidemic of food-related violence.
First, MP:Boston brought us news of a pizza assault at Fenway. The YouTube video, which is very clear, shows a slice of pizza being hurled from one fan to another, apparently after the pizza-eater was heckled for eating pizza (not a crime in our book).
Then, MP:San Francisco chronicles the tale of an asparagus-mediated hate crime, featuring a very angry grocery store clerk, assorted asparagus and apples, and a hapless gay couple who were her customers. Now, apples can cause a lot of damage, but asparagus? Apparently, the woman was caught with several stalks in her purse - perhaps she was planning on roasting them with olive oil and lemon juice for supper.
Please, consider the children! Lock your pantries, deadbolt your refrigerator doors and stay out of supermarkets and restaurants, lest you, too, fall victim to some guy with a grudge and a handful of grapes.
[Photo: The Lost Girls]