"Sometimes I feel like people have such bland tastes, and that must have been what was wrong with these women."
"Welcome to my house. Make me dinner."
"Before dessert, we hit the shooting range downstairs and then finished with cheesecake, cognac, and a cigar."
"They put pieces of lime in the margarita and light them on fire, which seems like a lot of fanfare for just a normal margarita."
"I laid it over the fish after it was cooked, and it had the same effect as if I smoked twenty blunts."
"Dinner was at Roberta's. Carrots with smoked ricotta. F*ck yes."
"Am I a bad boy, mama? I no get breast-feed tonight?"
"You have no idea how important it is to me that no one be an asshole."
"I think you can train your body to not have a taste for unhealthy food."
"I've heard of some chefs calling restaurants ahead to make sure no extra food will be served, but we don't want to be assholes ... "
Paper Magazine’s Kim Hastreiter Picks Pears in Greenwich Village, Cooks Pasta Sauce with ‘a Sh-tload’ of Garlic
"I get this gigantic pan. Put good olive oil and pepperoncini it. You just throw in a sh-tload of cherry tomatoes, a sh-tload of basil, a sh-tload of garlic."
"I went to Porter House, my favorite restaurant. I was with a woman who was not with me for free."
"I pigged out entirely, and threw in a can of Coke and the remainder of a pint of Ben & Jerry's."
"We capsized a few times in the Delaware, but we never lost the wine."
"I’m a little jealous of people who tend to talk about their favorite restaurants. I like a lot of restaurants, but I rarely go back to the same one twice."
"I try not to drink vodka in public. I feel like it always results in my having to e-mail, call people, just apologizing for my behavior."
"I know nothing about wine except that I love red wine that smells like manure and white wine that smells plastic-y, like a freshly opened Ninja Turtle action figure."
"And how did the ground zero of the Brooklyn food explosion land in my neighborhood? I swear, if I can't walk or bike to it, I pretty much don't go."
Sarabeth Levine Makes Steel-Cut Oats With Strawberry-Mango Compote, Healthy Cookies With Shredded Wheat
"I am embarrassed to admit how many daytime meals I consume while standing."
"I stopped doing dope in the nineties, but I've had to eat sweets at 4 or 5 a.m. ever since."