"If you're gonna eat doughnuts again, do it fabulously."
"I topped of a day of burgers with a Black Angus burger."
"We brought a half-bottle of Moet rosé and drank that from plastic cups."
"I do like a good burger."
"I spent a few hours working and drinking a pot of soy chai tea made with an actual blend of teas from my family's village in Uganda!"
"I probably should worry about getting mercury poisoning; I had it once already."
"I've also been told I was intimately involved with a single slice of cheese pizza."
"I wish I could say I used eggs from my own chickens."
"I decide in that moment that I am now Frank Bruni."
"Sit down and enter barbecue heaven."
"I'm learning the key to being a parent: drink early."
"I thought, 'This is the height of luxury.'"
"A very large man in a very expensive-looking suit told us there is no way in hell we are getting in."
"Technically, I had a Guinness for breakfast at a bar that used to be called Hanratty's."
"I need to keep seafood a special occasion in my mind, or else I will bankrupt myself on shellfish."
"When you have big cousins, you learn how to eat fast."
"If Wheaties is the breakfast of champions, then Cool Ranch Doritos are my brunch of shame."
"My assistant packed some Cheerios and Froot Loops in my backpack. I discover this with a mixture of awe and deep gratitude."
"I ate the massive sandwich — the equivalent of four sandwiches — in three minutes."
"Apple-pie filling is in the middle, like guacamole."