"It looks like organ meat, but they're vegetables. You can see the health benefits flowing in the ether around the container of green."
"I want my food quickly. I want my food in my stomach."
"I have loads of water and vitamins, but also loads of vodka sodas."
"I got my regular order: meatloaf with Creole sauce, mashed potatoes, green beans, fried green tomatoes, white beans, corn pudding, and sweet tea."
"I also had the blueberry pie, which was advertised to me as 'kick-ass,' but it didn't totally kick my ass."
"I wish I were a frat boy here just eating wings all day long and majoring in organizational psychology or whatever it takes these days."
"I had a glass of wine at lunch because it made me feel European."
"If you're gonna eat doughnuts again, do it fabulously."
"I turned into Doughnuts McCigarettes the second I left for college."
"Is the yogurt having sex, in my mouth, as I eat it? Is it some sort of dairy orgy?"
"I topped of a day of burgers with a Black Angus burger."
"We brought a half-bottle of Moet rosé and drank that from plastic cups."
"I mean, jeepers! It's fried chicken."
"I do like a good burger."
"I spent a few hours working and drinking a pot of soy chai tea made with an actual blend of teas from my family's village in Uganda!"
"I probably should worry about getting mercury poisoning; I had it once already."
"I've also been told I was intimately involved with a single slice of cheese pizza."
"I wish I could say I used eggs from my own chickens."
"I decide in that moment that I am now Frank Bruni."