It's time for Charm City to choose sides.
But it's unclear why, exactly.
Tofu McNuggets don't help matters.
"My fellow customers seemed to look on with pity as I drew my fate ... "
Sales have been on the decline for eight consecutive months.
This came immediately after the hiring of "a large number of white employees."
But you'll have to go to West Virginia or Ohio to get it.
"You can't just go down the road eating a hamburger," the officer said.
"Try our new crap."
There's a new French fry shortage, and someone found at least one human tooth in their food.
Just as they were getting over that tainted meat scandal and a crippling French fry shortage, too.
It's just a matter of time before "fry parties" can return.
Hooray for terrible coffee!
McDonald's is desperate to change its image.
Apparently 'Sexy Sports Clips' is not family-friendly viewing.
Soon, kiosks in 2,000 stores will let you put tortilla chips on a sandwich.
A West Coast port dispute is denying the largest importer its frozen potatoes.
Just a year ago, people predicted they'd redeem the chain.
You can pry their French fry baskets from their cold, dead, GMO-free hands.
It was nixed from the menu because it confused everyone.