Sorry, it so far lacks a cupcake ATM machine.
General manager Philip Dailey gives Local 11 the old "your actions are only hurting yourselves" speech.
This new pasta-dominated osteria comes from Tony Riviera, the owner of Cafe Primo.
The writer could famously hold his liquor, but we have no idea whether these actors would make him puke or perk up.
The menu travels through Europe's pub and brasserie fare, while the space resembles an Old World train station.
The heavily slobbered-over IPA will be offered first-come, first-served at Surly Goat and Verdugo Bar.
The bistro, mostly known by locals from its Vegas iteration, shares Chicago roots with Lettuce Entertain You, said to be on the project.
Even at twice the size, the new location of this 24/7 diner is still completely cute.
Meanwhile, a new Chinese fine-dining concept will take the other half of the former Hamburger Hamlet space.
Get your tans up to snuff and your ears tuned to techno, as the Euro-heavy New York import is coming soon.
Blue Bottle coffee will be offered for three dollars a cup for 14 hours a day in an art-strewn space.
The libation takes three high grade sipping tequilas and mashes them up with a bunch of stuff in a gold-rimmed cup.
The owner recalls his grandmother's black-boned chicken soup, served to him as a youth when he fell ill.
Staff and fellow patrons will have to enforce the ban.
The former Bazaar chef is hitting the hard stuff again for the holidays.
The chef is attempting to bring the omakase experience to a wider audience.
The store likes to trumpet celebrity clientele like Kerry Washington and Demi Moore.