MOST RECENT ARTICLES BY:

David Rees

  1. Overnights
    Top Chef Seattle Finale Recap: David Rees on Chicken Butts and Washed“If collards are the new kale, I’m all for it!”
  2. Overnights
    Top Chef Seattle Recap: David Rees on Unclean Sweetbreads and“Hugh enters the kitchen doing his best Michael Ian Black imitation.”
  3. Overnights
    Top Chef Seattle Recap: David Rees on Sourdough Starters and Tom’s“Sheldon plays a ukulele, which is like a ‘starter’ for people who can’t get their act together and learn guitar. “
  4. Overnights
    Top Chef Seattle Recap: David Rees on Ships, Icebergs, and Scylla and“Lizzie is adding bacon to her iceberg lettuce. She’s also adding anchovies, which are a type of sea creature. According to my calculations, this means her dish will be salty.”
  5. Overnights
    Top Chef Seattle Recap: David Rees on Naked Sushi and Human Centipede“Our gang walks into the kitchen and sees a bunch of fish and sea creatures lying on a bed of ice. Is it a mafia-style warning?”
  6. Overnights
    Top Chef Seattle Recap: David Rees on Restaurant Wars and UnderstandingIf there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that raw fish doesn’t look good on TV. But Emeril, who can’t see the dish on TV, loves it.
  7. Overnights
    Top Chef Seattle Recap: David Rees on Mojo Sauce and Thai-German FusionThis, week, the gang encounters Wolfgang Puck, and their worst fears.
  8. Overnights
    Top Chef Seattle Recap: David Rees on Healthy Food and Sexy Knives“The winning dish will, in turn, inspire a new Healthy Choice ‘Café Steamer,’ which sounds like a sex act from a French frat house. “
  9. Overnights
    Top Chef Seattle Recap: David Rees on Oyster Bogs and Old Turkey BonesThis week, the chefs go to a Roller Derby match and watch the women slam into each other and use bad language.
  10. Overnights
    Top Chef Seattle Recap: David Rees on Beautiful Berries and Shredded“The chefs drive to an old property called Remlinger Farms. It looks poverty-stricken and dilapidated, like a meth lab with cows.”
  11. Overnights
    Top Chef Seattle Recap: David Rees on Marilyn Hagerty and Missing the“Stefan and Kristin flirt. Somebody burns a spatula handle. Paul McCartney sings with Nirvana, or so Twitter tells me.”
  12. Overnights
    Top Chef Seattle Recap: David Rees on Vegan Sushi and Artisanally Candied“I thought Seattle artisans would be young and skinny-jeaned. Am I guilty of artisan-profiling?”
  13. Overnights
    Top Chef Seattle Recap: David Rees on a Handsy Padma and Old-Timey“They are reincarnating old dishes! This is going to be a GHOST DINNER FROM BEYOND THE GRAVE.”
  14. Overnights
    Top Chef Seattle Recap: David Rees on Cheese Ball Sophistication andOh, and it’s Thanksgiving in Top Chef world.
  15. Overnights
    Top Chef Seattle Recap: David Rees on Personal Branding and GeopoliticalThe teams must prepare their dishes before the Space Needle completes a full rotation. It’s like something out of Dr. No.
  16. Overnights
    Top Chef Seattle Recap: And We’re Off!Top Chef continues to represent an upper-middlebrow trashy sensibility that purees accessibility, celebrity, and actual talent in a back-stabbery broth of semi-sophistication.
  17. Overnights
    Around the World in 80 Plates Recap: David Rees on the Finale“The chefs toast their amazing journey and that’s that: ‘Around the World in 80 Plates’ concludes its first and only season. Yeah, I’m calling it.”
  18. Overnights
    Around the World in 80 Plates Recap: David Rees on Empanadas and the“Did you know there’s a very particular way one should attach a goat carcass to an iron cross before cooking it by an open fire? I didn’t — maybe because I’m not an Argentinian Satan-worshipper?”
  19. Overnights
    Around the World in 80 Plates Recap: David Rees on Dim Sum and Demon Chefs“I can feel them judging me as I grind more pizza into my snark-hole while wearing my second-cleanest pair of pleated khaki shorts.”
  20. Overnights
    Around the World in 80 Plates Recap: Fifty Shades of Stone“Would Curtis Stone enjoy humiliating me? Would I enjoy being humiliated by Curtis Stone?”
  21. Overnights
    Around the World in 80 Plates Recap: David Rees on the Proper“I refuse to be brainwashed into believing that Italian food is any different from any other kind of food! Food is food, people. It’s mostly vegetables and grains and whatnot.”
  22. Overnights
    Around the World in 80 Plates Recap: David Rees on Italian Grandmothers“Her name is Nana Nonna, and she’s one of the world’s most famous Italian grandmothers and speaking of mothers, she can cook like a motherf-cker, so watch out.”
  23. Overnights
    Around the World in 80 Plates Recap: David Rees Is the Only Person“Curtis Stone’s shirt is amazing; it’s aqua-ish colored, and seems to be made of a fabric that hasn’t been invented yet.”
  24. Overnights
    Around the World in 80 Plates Recap: David Rees on the Famous Squabbler“Just like that, my opinion of Cheven drops another 10,000 feet. Now James Cameron can investigate it in his submarine.”
  25. Overnights
    Around the World in 80 Plates Recap: David Rees on Sheepherding and Rural“I still can’t believe people eat cheese that comes out of a sheep’s butthole or wherever it comes from.”
  26. Overnights
    ‘Around the World in 80 Plates’ Recap: David Rees on the Premiere“What was billed as a celebration of international culinary traditions becomes instead an orgy of overclocked consumption.”
  27. The Chain Gang
    Soul Daddy Review: David Rees on America’s Next Great Restaurant“The first thing you notice is Soul Daddy’s interior; it is clean and bland and entirely without soul.”
  28. Overnights
    Episode 9“Joey laments: ‘The day is not going the way I envisioned it going,’ which we can only imagine was Osama bin Laden’s final thought on this earth.”
  29. Overnights
    Episode 8“This is a direct challenge — a shot across the bow of U.S.S. Kale City, the unsinkable frigate that takes on all comers.”
  30. Overnights
    Episode 7“I feel like a preteen girl defending Justin Bieber, or a balding alcoholic defending Charlie Sheen.”
  31. Overnights
    Episode 6“It’s like all natural phenomena and all of human culture are merely instruments through which Steve Ells can more closely examine the viability of concepts.”
  32. Overnights
    Episode 5“Never let it be said that Bobby Flay is not a man obsessed with dipping sauces.”
  33. Overnights
    America’s Next Great Restaurant Recap: David Rees Has a ColdThis week: One contestant will be named Lord of the Pod People.
  34. Overnights
    Episode 3More concepts than season three of Donald Trump’s ‘Celebrity Epistemologist.’
  35. Overnights
    Episode 2Plus a whole lot of logos, and shots of Steve Ells looking miserable.
  36. Overnights
    America’s Next Great Restaurant Recap: David Rees on the Premiere“So now you know: Any restaurant that opens between now and the conclusion of this show will not be great.”