As things currently stand, Americans don’t need anything else to feel despair and dread about the state of the country. But on Tuesday, KFC decided otherwise, announcing that it was getting in on the fast-food chicken-sandwich hoopla with, uh, a chicken sandwich served on not one, but two doughnuts.
Currently, the chain is testing the sandwich, along with a basket of fried chicken and doughnuts, at locations in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, and Norfolk and Richmond, Virginia. This harrowing news comes after the summer of chicken-sandwich mania, in which Americans collectively lost their shit after Popeyes pointed out it was serving a fried-chicken sandwich. In what can only be described as a real decline-of-civilization moment, some overworked Popeyes employees were, reportedly, physically threatened by customers enraged that the sandwich was sold out for the day. In late August, Popeyes announced the sandwich would be “sold out” at all locations; it has not yet returned to the menu.
As for KFC’s chicken-doughnut monstrosity, the first question that Grub asked itself was, who would actually want to eat this? It’s the sort of food that gives you acid reflux just thinking about it. You would think that, for all the money KFC pays its mad food scientists, they’d at least think up something more original! It’s true that it’s not like KFC invented this concept — remember burgers on doughnuts? Grub tries not to also — but, still. On second thought, you do have to give it to KFC: Fried industrial chicken smashed between two stale doughnuts is maybe the best metaphor yet for Trump’s America.