analysis

Apple’s Bagel Emoji Is About to Upset a lot of New Yorkers

Illustration: Apple

After the Unicode Consortium’s February 2018 announcement of all the new emojis coming to our keyboards this year, Apple has shared the final designs for the 70 new emoji that it will roll out in the next iOS update, which includes new food items like a lobster, a head of romaine lettuce, and an image that supposedly represents a bagel.

This is an emoji that New Yorkers and bagel lovers around the world have been expecting for a long time and the disappointment is truly overwhelming. Take a look at this clearly machine-cut monstrosity with its stiff and bready interior, which couldn’t possibly be redeemed by a few minutes in a toaster.

And let’s talk about that distressingly smooth crust. What midwestern bagel factory did this bagel come out of? And is it really a bagel if there isn’t a disgusting amount of cream cheese that needs to be wiped off with a napkin before you can consume it? To be frank, this bagel emoji should only be used to illustrate what kind of bagel you don’t want your friend to pick up on the way over.

Apple’s Bagel Emoji Is About to Upset a lot of New Yorkers