There’s a theory among Oprah obsessives and TV historians that America’s preoccupation with her health and weight began with an iconic 1988 episode of The Oprah Winfrey Show where the then-34-year-old revealed a major weight loss to an audience filled with people waving yellow pom-poms. Since then, Oprah has, of course, become nothing less than America’s leading lifestyle scion. (Sorry, Gwyneth, but it’s true.)
The latest chapter in Oprah’s healthy-lifestyle saga is her year-old line of frozen foods through Kraft Heinz known as “O, That’s Good!” and that brand’s newest product is pizza with crust that’s made with cauliflower
Obviously, Grub had to give it a try. Here’s the rundown on what Oprah calls “comfort food that loves you back.”
You’ll have pizza in a little less than an hour.
Compared to other frozen pizza brands, like DiGiorno and Red Baron, the prep time for the O, That’s Good pizzas is about the same. Preheat your oven to 400 degrees and then bake for 24 to 28 minutes. That means, given a preheating time of 15 to 30 minutes and baking time, this is no more difficult or easier to make than other brands out there.
It has to be said: This pizza does not taste great.
The selling point on these pizzas is that they’re healthier than “regular” pizzas. Just check out these taglines! “NO artificial flavors, dyes, or preservatives.” (Phew.) “Real, nutritious deliciousness.”(Hmm, okay …) “So delicious you won’t taste the difference.” (Sounds unlikely!) In truth, you will taste the difference because the pizzas that Grub tried — Uncured Pepperoni and Fire-Roasted Vegetable — were, even by frozen-pizza standards, unbelievably bland. The texture of the crust — which is, again, made with finely ground cauliflower — is aggressively bready, to the point where it’s actually difficult to taste the cheese, sauce, or toppings. (Imagine the last time you thought bread had a stronger flavor than pepperoni.) There’s a reason, it turns out, why the world’s grand pizza masters don’t put cauliflower into their crusts.
It’s not all that healthy.
These pies are meant to be a slightly healthier alternative to other frozen pizzas, but what you gain in 40 or 50 fewer overall calories, you lose in taste. Take the Uncured Pepperoni pizza, which comes in at 330 calories and 740 mg of sodium per slice. A fifth of a DiGiorno’s pepperoni pizza is 360 calories and 875 mg of sodium, while Red Baron comes in at 300 calories and 665 mg of sodium. Or if you prefer your pizzas fresh, a medium Domino’s pepperoni pizza is 350 calories and 800 mg of sodium per slice. In other words, the Oprah pizza isn’t worth the calories, or lack thereof.
Where’s the cheese pull, Oprah?
In the social ad for this new pizza, Oprah has made one explicit promise: The cheese will pull in a way that is so good, it will make you dance. The cheese on Grub’s pies did not pull, and we definitely did not feel compelled to dance when we ate them. (We mostly wanted to head to the nearest slice joint to get some decent pizza.)