crimes against meat

Let This Scott Walker Tweet Be a Lesson in How to Never Grill Meat

Governor Scott Walker, who tweets incessantly about the extremely average-looking ham sandwiches he’s enjoyed at lunch every day for 26 years, made sure to carve out time this weekend for the holiday’s obligatory of-the-people activity: putting meat on an open fire. To publicly document his efforts, he tweeted this photo of himself grilling steak-and-chicken kebabs, to which he also added no fewer than three exclamation points:

It was no doubt his way of saying, “Happy Memorial Day, fellow ordinary Americans,” but unfortunately, the outreach effort quickly got short-circuited by cynics on the internet. Food writers, amateur grill masters, and probably even folks who’ve maybe grilled one time a decade ago launched a full-scale assault on the governor’s questionable technique:

In short, besides the baffling selection of what he threaded onto skewers (steak, tomato, pineapple, chicken?), he doesn’t appear to have applied even a trace of oil or seasoning. He also has foods that cook at very different speeds on the same skewer, and has oriented most of the skewers so they can slip between the grates. Maybe he was planning to leave it on there a while longer, but that chicken is very much still raw.

All told, Walker’s barbecuing acumen didn’t seem to impress that many people, but at least Twitter’s roasting of his grilling left him, in the end, with a nice sear.

Scott Walker’s Tweet Is a Lesson in How to Never Grill Meat