Katy Perry’s New Song ‘Bon Appétit’ Might Ruin Food for You

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Awkward-lyrics queen Katy Perry has dropped her latest single, “Bon Appétit,” which can be summed up as four minutes of incredibly unsubtle food fetishes, including one where she describes herself as an all-you-can-eat buffet:

She and Migos manage to recycle every cliché known to the food-service world (“the customer’s always right,” “I’m open 24,” “melt in your mouth,” “wine and dine,” “table for two,” etc.), ensuring that restaurant hospitality will never again feel so platonic. To make use of a term Perry overlooked, the catchy single is going to be a guilty summer pleasure for lots of people, but that can’t redeem the fact that the lyrics are pure nonsense on the food side. Just take verse one:

Looks like you’ve been starving
You’ve got those hungry eyes
You could use some sugar
’Cause your levels ain’t right
I’m a five-star Michelin
A Kobe flown in
You want what I’m cooking, boy

Michelin’s guide, of course, stops at three stars. For a whole host of reasons, Kobe beef isn’t really something a person has “flown in.” (Anyway, two U.S. distributors will now sell you some domestically.) And WebMD says low blood sugar causes dizziness, but nothing about it giving your man “those hungry eyes.” All of which is too bad, because the recipe she sent fans for a “World Famous Cherry Pie” right before the song’s release kept the sensual food theme going and looked pretty legit:

Katy Perry’s New Song ‘Bon Appétit’ Might Ruin Food for You