This Bonkers New Coffee Has 300 Percent More Caffeine Than Your Morning Starbucks

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Allegedly has a “smooth sweet” flavor.

Good news, Americans who love starting the day with hand tremors: Black Insomnia Coffee, a bag of caffeine that debuted in South Africa last year under the guise of being coffee, arrives Stateside today. To make sure people grasp what they’re reckoning with here, the company has come armed with lab tests scientifically backing its “world’s strongest coffee” claim. Creator Sean Kristafor says he worked with Gerald Charles, a top South African roaster and barista, to reach a borderline-dangerous caffeine level — 702 milligrams for 12 ounces — through painstakingly sourcing robusta beans. Also, 16-ounce bags are Amazon Prime eligible, making them, for better or worse, “instantly available to the American public.”

For those lab tests, Black Insomnia sent bags of its coffee alongside several rivals’ to SGS, a Swiss-based lab company that’s a global leader in verifying consumer-product claims. Samples underwent high-performance liquid chromatography, and the “clear winner,” the company says, was Black Insomnia at “an incredible” 17.5 grams of caffeine per kilogram of coffee. Once the gold standard, Death Wish fell well short with just 13.2 grams per kilogram, while WodFee — which claims to make the “World’s Strongest Coffee Blend with Added Caffeine” — managed just 13.8 grams. (A Starbucks dark roast would probably come in around 5 to 6 grams.)

Black Insomnia’s team knows that lab tests or not, that won’t be the end of this battle for the “most caffeinated” title. In fact, “nine different brands on Amazon” (they counted) all claim some form of the title right now — which is why they’re also attempting to cut rivals off at the pass. The company explains Black Insomnia’s caffeine levels were actually cut back in order to, you know, keep consumers alive. The caffeine level still “borders on narcotic,” but it warns no brand with any sense would “attempt to surpass this content in the interest of public health and safety.”

Bonkers New Coffee Has 3 Times More Caffeine Than Starbucks