A company called Griffon Vault has stuck “premium” 80-proof vodka into a one-liter box that’s “ideal for tailgating, the beach, or the pool.” Pretty inexplicably, the design on the outside consists of red calligraphy, an eagle-lion, and a background of mist; inside, the contents are five-times-distilled. The whole container will set you back merely $15.99, and is available for purchase right now at more than 1,500 stores in the Midwest and Pennsylvania.
Co-founder Eric Clappier tells Bloomberg he can’t figure out why people refuse to take his new product seriously (“half of them laugh in my face”), since boxed wine is trendy, and even Fireball has successfully deployed a 3.5-liter-sized box of its liquid poison that comes with two spigots. He may just need somebody to shoot straight with him here: His target audience is beachgoers and millennial women (so that medieval box design is probably a #fail), and he seems to have forgotten there are two places people drink vodka — at bars, and overseas in Russia — and neither is going to be carrying this product in the foreseeable future.
