Really going for the low-hanging fruit, Vanity Fair destroyed Trump Grill yesterday in a review that — to add insult to injury — was written by a political reporter. In what might’ve amounted to negative stars if that were possible, Tina Nguyen gripes about the “garbage food,” wonders why the menu spells it both “Grill” and “Grille,” says roasted pig eyes are better than the Gold Label burger, calls the HomeGoods-esque décor a “cheap version of rich,” the filet mignon “a dead body inside a T-boned minivan,” the drinks “concocted by a college freshman experimenting in their dorm room” — you get the idea. She adds she retreated home, “brushed my teeth twice and curled up in bed until the nausea passed.” (Good thing for her, the still-frozen chocolate cake tasted “like Tums.”)
Really, she squeezed plenty more swipes into her 1,700 words (including the hope that Trump will “sink and implode” just in general), which was enough this morning to drive the president-elect onto Twitter, where he posted this withering takedown of the rag’s circulation numbers:
This isn’t the first time Carter has assigned a hit-job restaurant review: He also assigned A.A. Gill to take down famed Patris bistro L’Ami Louis, and Jean-Georges Vongerichten’s 66, after he had to — gasp! — wait for a table there.