Le CRAV, the shadowy group of French winemakers that roams around destroying foreign wine, has committed its latest oenomanic rampage, this time in Sète, a port in the south of France. A “hooded commando” who belongs to the self-described group of “wine terrorists” managed to break into Biron, a distributor based there, on Tuesday night and dump an estimated 10,000 gallons of red wine into the streets.
According to reports, the perfectly drinkable vino flowed several inches deep along the street and drained into underground parking garages and the cellars of nearby buildings. Members of le CRAV claimed responsibility, arguing it was Biron’s punishment for importing cheap bulk wine from Spanish producers, who are their mortal enemies. Earlier this year, other CRAV radicals hijacked five tankers of Spanish wine at the border to protest the “unfair” advantage those Riojas and La Manchas have in France, which is now the biggest buyer of its neighboring country’s wine.
Just imagine the apoplectic rage if it had been five tanks of Spain’s new electric-blue wine.