The Chain Gang

McDonald’s Business Drops Off Yet Again

The chain says it's seeing
The chain says it's seeing "signs of momentum."

Sales under the Golden Arches fell again, for the seventh consecutive quarter, this time by 2 percent at U.S. stores. That means a 13 percent decline in profits over the past three months — something Robert Gibbs might not even be able to turn around. To put this in perspective, sales at Taco Bell this quarter are up 6 percent.

The earnings report doesn’t delve into “specific examples,” but here are a few: that WTF turnaround plan back in May, a suburban Hamburglar, kale, unauthorized use of the word artisan, and an exciting “new shape” for Quarter Pounder patties.

Meanwhile, this latest quarter starts off with this news: After two years of work, McDonald’s finally has a smartphone app coming out in the fall, but it’s not for actually ordering food. It’s an app for … “mobile coupons.”

It’s time for Ronald, Grimace, and the Fry Kids to stage an intervention in Oak Brook: shred everything in the C-suite and tell executives to start reenvisioning McDonald’s as the world’s largest 24-hour breakfast chain.


McDonald’s Business Drops Off Yet Again