Cornballs

World Decides Deep-Fried Candy Corn Is One Step Too Far

Seasonally scary.
Seasonally scary. Photo: Oh, Bite It!

“What do we do to things we don’t need/want/like?” Amy Erickson asks on her blog, Oh, Bite It!. “We fry it … that’s what!” In this case, the creator of deep-fried Pumpkin Spice Lattes and, for rougher days, deep-fried tequila shots has put Brach’s famous candy corn inside Pillsbury dough rounds and subjected the whole package to a bath of hot oil. The finished product is dusted with powered sugar, zeppole-style, and allegedly yields “doughy pillows” that are “just a shadow of that seasonal, sad, tooth-buster of a treat.”

In a world in which somebody has already fried every bagged item that comes in a snack size — M&Ms;, Tootsie Rolls, Twizzlers — no one can really blame Erickson for daring to dream, but the ultimate end-of-October Frankenfood made Rusty Foster’s Today in Tabs (“Two words: DEEP FRIED CORN CANDY”), and now that’s basically what the internet is doing, pretty unanimously and in repulsion:

Not everything needs to be fried RT @DarthVenn: Fried candy corn balls. pic.twitter.com/AvNzRUd20Y— F. Thot Fitzgerald (@DaniFantastic) October 21, 2014

Fried. candy corn. LISTEN, MAYNE. pic.twitter.com/djDdrdQW7B— Laraine Lujack (@therainebeaux) October 21, 2014

Why did the phrase “deep fried candy corn” just crawl across my timeline? Why is that a thing? What is the matter with people?— H. G. WellActually (@andthenlynsaid) October 20, 2014

Deep fried? Fine. Candy? Okay. Corn? We’ll allow it. But those four words in THAT order? NAW.— H. G. WellActually (@andthenlynsaid) October 20, 2014

Well, almost. Some blame is getting spread onto others known to fry a thing or two:

I believe Paula Deen did this. RT @__Huss: 😷😷😷😷😷😷😷😷 RT @Nerdonic: Satan. “@DarthVenn: Fried candy corn balls. pic.twitter.com/VZJSytXs6u“— Styx (@RenRennyy) October 20, 2014

[Oh, Bite It!, Today in Tabs]

World Decides Deep-Fried Candy Corn Is One Step Too Far