The fry-up, with its eggs and bread and beans, is a real gut-buster of the British breakfast already, but a north England café called Bear Grills — get it? — has now created one so intense and gimmicky that owner Mark Winder makes intrepid customers sign a waiver absolving the restaurant of damages “arising from any injury received or incurred” through any attempt to finish it.
It’s called the Hibernator for the obvious reason (“if anyone completes it, they’ll have to sleep for a year”); it’s four times an adult man’s suggested daily calorie intake; and here’s what’s in it, a paragraph unto itself: four fried eggs, eight “rashers” of bacon, eight sausages, four hash browns, a cheese omelette made of four more eggs, four waffles, four pieces of toast, four pieces of fried bread, four pieces of black pudding, two ladlefuls of beans, tomatoes, and mushrooms, french fries, and a hideously overkill 32-ounce milkshake.
There’s even a “mini” version for kids. The full one, which goes for £19.95, “weighs the same as the average newborn baby,” as the Daily Mail points out, and has been attempted by 20 individuals so far, none of whom completed it. H+Go figure. Winder doesn’t expect that will change anytime soon. He says customers “see it come out on the big platter all heaped high and start to cry,” which, when you think about it, isn’t any way to start the day.