A guy named Joseph Checkler has launched a really un-fun Kickstarter that’s really going do egg-sandwich eaters a solid by educating the deli workers and food-cart operators of midtown about the true way to assemble those three-ingredient egg sandwiches beloved by all New Yorkers. These things include not adding “unmade-to-order bacon” and overheating the eggs. “I’ve created a few simple rules that I will deliver — whether electronically, personally or via U.S. Mail — to every purported egg sandwich purveyor in Midtown Manhattan,” he writes, adding that while he understands “some of them might already be doing it the right way,” his guidelines “will at least make an average egg sandwich much better.” What a saint.
If you haven’t figured out by now, this one’s in no danger of going full potato-salad. But with a whole 16 days left, his project has already surpassed its goal of $310 “for printing and mailing costs, as well as for my time researching every corner of Midtown Manhattan to find out who needs this breakfast-saving leaflet,” so don’t be surprised to see a guy getting physically threatened around breakfast time about a month somewhere in the West Forties.