This 71-Ingredient Cocktail Looks Fantastically Gross

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But how does it taste? Photo: People Make Glasgow/Twitter

We're going to guess that the bright-pink drink you see in the coupe here, which is made with figs, eggplant, saffron, bitter cress, okra, potatoes, pumpkin seeds, coffee, sour cherries, lemongrass, and 61 other plant-world things, is probably the strongest-ever contender for a round of "Stump the Bartender." The Commonwealth Cocktail was designed to commemorate the XX Commonwealth Games, taking place right now in Glasgow, and its ingredient list encompasses just one thing carefully sourced from each of the 71 Commonwealth countries, meaning that it likely just edges out that eight-drink megacockatil at the NoMad in terms of labor-intensiveness. On the plus side, though, anyone who orders this monstrosity can claim they detect notes of wild Welsh cotoneaster or a slight Tongan avocado nose and be entirely correct.

Scotch whisky is mentioned in the press materials, but it's sort of unclear how much of any of the alcohols is in this thing, total, but that doesn't seem to be the point: Creator Mal Spence of Kelvingrove Café, where this Commonwealth Cocktail is being served in very limited amounts through August 3, says he went through 300 different iterations before finding one that worked, so really, he's done enough. "Most classic cocktails have three or four ingredients," he says. The kitchen-sink approach may seem kind of nasty but it's probably pretty delicious  vast laundry lists of botanicals from far-flung places go into most modern liquors, after all, maybe just not new potatoes from the Isle of Man. (The streamlined at-home version, thankfully, is pretty much some Scotch, burdock cordial, mango, and rambutan.)

Here's the full list of ingredients:

Africa

Botswana: devils claw (genus clerodendrum)

Cameroon: bitter leaf (piper umbellatum)

Ghana: taro (psidium guajava)

Kenya: chives

Lesotho: rosehip

Malawi: cacao (pycreuscyperaceae)

Mauritius: wild raspberry (rubus rosifolius)

Mozambique: cassava

Namibia: prickly pear

Nigeria: utazi leaves

Rwanda: papaya

Seychelles: citronella

Sierra Leone: cashew nut (piassava)

South Africa: roobus

Swaziland: sycamore fig

Tanzania: cloves

Uganda: nakati eggplant

Zambia: sorrel

Americas

Belize: dragonfruit

Bermuda: arabica coffee beans

Canada: logan berry

Falkland Islands: bitter cress

Guyana: sugar cane

St. Helena: St. Helena tea plant

Asia

Bangladesh: jujubi

Brunei Darussalam: durian fruit

India: mangosteen

Malaysia: galangal

Maldives: pomegranate (annaaru)

Pakistan: saffron

Singapore: rambutan

Sri Lanka: ripe jakfruit

Caribbean

Anguilla: mango

Antigua & Barbuda: tamarind

Bahamas: egg fruit

Barbados: sour cherry

British Virgin Islands: noni

Cayman Islands: sage (salvia caymanensis)

Dominica: guava leaf

Grenada: lemon grass

Jamaica: okra

Montserrat: devils horse whip

St. Kitts & Nevis: tamon

St. Lucia: sweet basil

St. Vincent & The Grenadines: arrowroot

Trinidad & Tobago: tonka bean

Turks & Caicos Islands: sapodilla

Europe

Cyprus: basil-thyme (Άκινος)

England: red apple

Gibraltar: maqui berry

Guernsey: blueberries

Isle of Man: new potatoes

Jersey: lavender

Malta: star anise

Northern Ireland: bog rosemary

Scotland: wild Scottish strawberry

Wales: wild cotoneaster

Oceania

Australia: aniseed myrtle (syzygium anisatum) (gundabluie) (bardi bush)

Cook Islands: custard apple seeds (annona reticulata)

Kiribati: dried coconut meat (copra)

Nauru: pumpkin seeds

New Zealand: manuka honey

Niue: paw paw

Norfolk Island: yam

Papua New Guinea: taro (colocasia esculenta)

Samoa: ladies finger (small, sweet banana)

Solomon Islands: taro leaves

Tonga: avocado (avoka)

Tuvalu: breadfruit

Vanuatu: plantain

Fiji: kava root

Commonwealth Cocktail
[People Make Glasgow]
Related: This 8-Drink Megacocktail Takes 2 Bartenders 7 Minutes to Make