Watch Jon Stewart Tackle Chipotle’s Gun Controversy and the Ryne Sandberg–Shake Shack Feud
On last night's Daily Show, Jon Stewart spent a segment apiece schooling recent bashers of iconic American fast-casual joints. He compares the thought of "spend[ing] 20 minutes" eating a Chipotle burrito "without a handgun" to, well, something foul, and later, he turned his attention to Phillies manager Ryne Sandberg's alleged Shake-arrhea. He diagnoses the deeper malady: Philadelphia-itis. "After years of choking down waste-beef trimmings coated in liquid cheese, the flora in Sandberg's tum-tum couldn't handle actual food," he argues.