McDonald’s posted a statement online today indicating that it will move to shut down three locations in Crimea. The language in its terse, four-paragraph note diplomatically cites "manufacturing reasons" as the cause and indicates the change is "temporary." The company, however, which operates the non-franchised locations, is offering Crimean employees a one-way trip to be closer to other still-functioning restaurants, where they’ll get the same jobs and salaries, moving costs for the whole family, and three months’ rent.
Moscow is none too thrilled, of course. One politician is issuing threats — though unlikely — to close all of Russia’s McDonald’s locations. Crimea’s new deputy prime minister, meanwhile, says Russia has tons of its own fast-food chains to "promptly take this niche" — delightful news for McDuck, McPeak, and Russia’s other McDonald’s knockoffs.