A somewhat twee-seeming Austin-based sweets company Lollyphile has released a signature breast-milk-flavored lollipop. The candy is, alas, vegan but allegedly based on the real thing. “We are endlessly grateful to all the mothers who kept sharing their breast milk with our flavor specialists,” Lollyphile’s website claims, “until we were able to candify it.” (You probably didn’t think you’d be reading that sentence today when you woke up this morning, did you?)
Anyway, it’s unclear whom these breast-milk-flavored lollipops are for. They might work as baby-shower favors, but because Lollyphile also makes Sriracha and white Russian flavors that are sometimes “modeled” by young women in very skimpy underwear, we suspect the real target market here is very old men with issues. In any event, these breast-milk lollipops retail for $2.50 each, but you get a price break of 90 cents apiece when you buy 58. Or just use the code “COLOSTRUM” at checkout for a discount.