Twinkies Make Triumphant Return to Stores July 15

Wake up, Twinkie the Kid!
Wake up, Twinkie the Kid! Photo: Courtesy of Hostess Brands/Facebook

As promised, the first of the Apollo Global Management-revived Hostess snack cake brands will return to store shelves on July 15. Principal Daren Metropoulos tells the AP that the sugary imposters that have flooded the market since the company went bankrupt last fall are officially on notice now that Twinkies and Fruit Pies are coming back. (There’s a countdown here, for enthusiasts.) But how will Twinkie the Kid cope with life in 2013? A lot has changed since November — GMO food labels now exist, Paula Deen lost her job, and cronuts have been invented, after all. One apparent new strategy involves emphasizing the snack cake’s more sensitive side, meaning its perishability. Metropoulos claims that Twinkies, contrary to popular belief, do not last forever. “Forty-five days,” he says, “that’s it.” [AP via Daily Intelligencer, Earlier, Related]