Just in time to spark a backlash to the bacon backlash, a 105-year-old Texas woman is crediting the pan-fried pork belly as the secret to her long life. Pearl Cantrell of Richland tells reporters, "I love bacon, I could eat it for every meal … and I do!"
Apparently, that’s sufficient science for the world of corporate food to take advantage note of the situation. On Cantrell’s birthday last week, the Oscar Meyer army unexpectedly showed up at her door, gifting her with a massive cache of bacon before sticking her in the passenger seat of a Wienermobile to parade Pearl through town.
Defying everything we know about modern medicine and health, the centenarian feels her daily dose of pork is the reason she doesn’t "feel as old as" she actually is. And while that’s far from conclusive proof that Cantrell’s enduring survival is all the work of magic bacon, let’s just choose to believe this diet works outside of Texas, too, and embrace it. After all, it justifies this all-bacon burger we want to try and still sounds way less insane than this dude’s Soylent Green Diet.