Here’s Pizza Compass, a Brand-New Slice-Finding App

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If you have a hard time in life because you have no luck finding decent pizza on the mean streets of New York, don't give up. As some guy in a pinstriped suit and flashy tie is about to explain, proprietary technology engineered to obliterate vast amounts of intractable sadness caused by your dulled slice-seeking faculties not only now exists, but it's available for the low, low price of 99 cents. Watch the bizarro infomercial for Pizza Compass, straight ahead, and then check out everything the extra-cheesy app can do here.