27 Signs That You’re a Bay Area Food Snob

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You try to hit every restaurant when it opens, and you definitely have an opinion about all of them.
You try to hit every restaurant when it opens, and you definitely have an opinion about all of them.Photo: Andrei Riskin

You know your watermelon from your breakfast radishes, you’re the one everyone texts when they need a restaurant recommendation, and you spend the lion’s share of your disposable income dining out, drinking great wine, and shopping at Bi-Rite. Basically, you know what’s important in life, and it mostly revolves around putting excellent things in your mouth. People from other parts of the country might not understand, but this is a very familiar type of person to those in and around San Francisco. Please take a moment to see if the following 27 criteria apply to you, or someone you love.

1. You are SO OVER pork belly, and declare this loudly when you see it on a menu.

Pork belly with risotto at Cafe Claude. Photo: Sirsnapsalot/Flickr


2. Sweetbreads are old hat, and now you’re trying to turn friends on to tripe, and rabbit headcheese.

Rabbit headcheese, with rabbit mortadella and liver pate at Central Kitchen. Photo: Andrei Riskin


3. Niman Ranch is way too corporate at this point, and you only buy grass-fed and local beef, preferably from Marin Sun Farms or Prather Ranch.

Photo: BrownGuacamole/Flickr


4. This is just an average Monday.

A vegetable flatbread at Rich Table. Photo: Alanna Hale


5. This is just an average Friday.

Frances. Photo: Jay Barmann


6. This is just an average Saturday.

Photo: Courtesy of CUESA


7. This is your idea of a spectator sport.

A pig butchery contest at the Eat Real Festival. Photo: Brian Smeets


8. Your friends ask you what chitarra, soubise, and gremolata are, and you obviously know.

Pasta being cut with a chitarra. Photo: Patricia Turo


9. Chardonnay is fine, only if it’s un-oaked, but you’d rather have a glass of Riesling or Friulano.

Photo: Seabamirum/Flickr


10. You don’t just have a CSA, but you’ve also got a community-supported fishery subscription.

Photo: SirenSea


11. You know that the best Chinese food is all down on the Peninsula.

Dumplings at Koi Palace. Photo: Tiffany Wan


12. You’ve been to the actual Hog Island Oyster Farm near Point Reyes.

Photo: TR4NSLATOR/Flickr

13. You’ve been to every S.F. Street Food Festival, and every SF Chefs.


14. You remember the openings of Boulevard and Gary Danko.

Photo: Courtesy of Boulevard


15. You make an annual (or monthly) pilgrimage to Zuni for the chicken.

Photo courtesy of Zuni Cafe


16. You were seriously upset when Soul Food Farm closed last year, and you namedrop Frog Hollow Farm whenever you get the chance.

Photo courtesy of Frog Hollow Farm

17. You know the difference between burrata and mozzarella di bufala, and you’ve made both yourself.

Photo: tomislavmedak/Flickr


18. You have a bumper sticker like this on your car.

Photo: Cafe Press


19. Or this.

Photo: Cafe Press


20. When traveling to other cities, you’re appalled when a cocktail bar doesn’t have a bowl of fresh citrus sitting on top of it.

Photo: M kasahara/Flickr


21. You would rather gouge out your eyes than eat at an Applebee’s.

Photo: Roadsidepictures


22. Or Cheesecake Factory.

Photo: thoth188/Flickr


23. … But In ‘N’ Out is totally cool.

Photo: pointnshoot/Flickr


24. You’ve made your own list of top ten pizzas.

A half-and-half at Pauline’s. Photo: Andrei Riskin


25. … And burgers.

Photo courtesy of TrueBurger


26. … And pho.

Chicken pho with shrimp dumplings at Golden King. Photo: Matt Wright/Flickr

27. … And you’re reading this blog right now.


Earlier: The Best of S.F.: Where and What to Eat