Upper East Side Resident Floats Ridiculous Plan for Street Vendor Conformity

Yes, Rick Bayless, even you.
Yes, Rick Bayless, even you. Photo: Bravo

Oh, this is depressing: In an effort to sort out the licensed and “illegal” food vendors who wheel around granny carts and set up card tables and makeshift stands on Upper East Side sidewalks to sell snacks, a group of neighborhood activists have proposed an ambitious plan wherein vendors would be “forced to use matching sidewalk furniture,” to make for easier identification, but also because, you know, mismatched tablecloths are a “visual blight.” Street Vendor Taskforce Committee head Michele Birnbaum reportedly also pitched an electronic ticketing system that would penalize violators “instantly,” and that’s not all: Proposed rules would require all vendors to use “signage in a certain font,” proving once again that the Upper East Side is the closest thing we have to a twee Wes Anderson fantasy of standardized typefaces and also the prison/village in the Prisoner. [DNAInfo via Tejal Rao/Twitter]