Yesterday, the world learned the truth: The cupcake market is in the dumps. It's been a long, frosting-filled ride, but the little desserts that have practically defined sweets for the last decade, are (finally) on the wane. How did this happen to a foodstuff whose dessert dominance once seemed unimpeachable? In retrospect, there were plenty of warning signs — here are just nine reasons why the bottom fell out on the cupcake market.
2. They became symbols of female depression and loneliness. Remember Bridesmaids? And Lena Dunham eating a cupcake in a bathtub on Girls?
4. Losers eat them. Just look at this photo.
5. They became the grounds for a bad sitcom. The entire premise of 2 Broke Girls is that the characters are saving up to open a cupcake shop. Nobody wants this to happen.
6. Cupcake ATM machines exist. If there's any indication that this dessert has become too ubiquitous and lowbrow, it's Honey Boo Boo's involvement.
7. Cupcakes are anti-feminist. Jezebel says they "represent prescribed modes of femininity and our cultural fixation on eternal girlhood" and "cupcakes are small, and small is cute, and women are supposed to be cute."
9. Real cake is more fun, and it's not that hard to purchase by the slice. You can share it with friends. It's messy. It's sexy. You can get ice cream cake. The possibilities are limitless. Eat cake!