Can Someone Please Help Michael Wolff Get a Restaurant Reservation?

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One of the coveted tables at Michael's. Photo: Patrick Siggins

"If you have an assistant, his or her full-time job pretty much becomes getting you a daily booking. If your assistant is any good at all, he or she will have narrowed lunch to four or five places and have, by careful trial and error, measured how far in advance it's necessary to call in order to avoid rejection and disaster. Repetition — say, six months of bookings — will finally get you a favourable database field and a reliable table (until someone else starts to book who is yet more faithful or famous than you, at which point you're downgraded). But, of course, if you don't have an assistant, this is your full-time job. You can be cavalier or passive-aggressive about it and not give a damn about where you book at the last minute. But, to be honest, if someone takes me to, say, a grim little Japanese place for lunch, instead of a prestigious destination, I drop them." —Michael Wolff takes to British GQ to lament the state of New York restaurants. It sort of seems like he's going about things the wrong way. [British GQ]