The twin tracks of Europe’s recent tainted meat problems and the possible revival of domestic horse slaughter have led to renewed interest in horses as food. But until last fall, New Yorkers in search of horsemeat would invariably be channeled through the back chatter of message boards and arrive at Aladdin, a small Uzbeki restaurant in Sheepshead Bay that served naryn, a heaping salad of shredded dough and cumin-dressed mystery meat the waiter would say was salted horse jerky, until you asked for clarification and were told it was actually beef. No matter — Aladdin closed after last year’s hurricane and was replaced by a Tajikistani place. As horsemeat advocates and opponents prepare for a food fight, here are twenty ways to eat horse around the world. For your convenience, distance has been calculated from the dingiest central station of them all, the Port Authority Bus Terminal in New York City.
1. 1001 Nights, Brooklyn (15.3 miles)
Both naryn (“a special festive dish revered by oriental merchants the thinly hand-sliced boiled jerked meat and dough”) and kazy (“the dish for rulers — a traditional Uzbek jerked meat with spices”), two dishes made traditionally with horsemeat, are served here. The staff say the kitchen prepares them with lamb, but the restaurant’s website photos don’t look like any lamb we’ve ever seen — in any event, as mock horse, this is as close as you’ll get to the real thing in New York City.
2. Monsu, Philadelphia (97.7 miles)
Despite bomb threats, Peter McAndrews has promised to serve horsemeat at his Sicilian-style Italian eatery. For the time being, he’s got lamb loin with peperoncino standing in for filley filet. In Philly.
3. Joe Beef, Montreal (366 miles)
Generous chefs Frédéric Morin and David McMillan serve big steaks and bacon-wrap the filet de cheval a cheval (horse on horseback), which comes doused in red-wine sauce.
4. The Black Hoof, Toronto (491 miles)
Horse Tartare on housemade hickory sticks here, as well as horse-heart salami.
5. La Palette, Toronto (492 miles)
This French bistro in Toronto’s hip Queen West neighborhood proffers rare horse tenderloin served with a foraged mushroom oat risotto. There’s also the Quack n’ Track, a bizarro world surf and turf made with a small steak and duck leg confit.
6. Shady as hell back alleys, Miami-Dade County (1,270 miles)
Risk going to jail and paying anywhere between $7 and $40 per pound of black market horsemeat in the Miami-Dade area, where dozens of horse carcasses butchered for human consumption have led to several arrests in the past five years.
7. La Tinajita, Camagüey (1,307 miles)
Travel guides list this colonial-style restaurant — which specializes in tasajo, salted, dried horse put in stew — as located “near the cemetery.” The restaurant in this 500-year-old city, a UNESCO World Heritage Site, just reopened after a long closure.
8. Street Food Vendors, Nuevo Laredo (1,950 miles)
The most powerful drug cartel in Mexico launders money with race horses. It also makes sloppy taco filling out of the retired ones.
9. Wiley B. Equine Dairy Products, Ltd., San Benito (1,963 miles)
Wiley B. does not sell meat, but you can mail order a nutritional supplement made of pasteurized, spray-dried “100% Pregnant Mare’s Milk (PMM) in capsule form.” Why would you want that? Milk collected from horses hanging out in “the nation’s largest Amish community” in Jamesport, Missouri, is apparently good for whatever ails you. Plus, it’s good creamer for coffee in a pinch.
10. Stravaigin, Glasgow (3,221 miles)
Bucking the trend of British stores purging tainted horsemeat from their shelves, the Scottish restaurant is now selling locavore horsemeat lasagna.
11. Kezie Foods, Berwickshire (3,310 miles)
While in Scotland, visit this purveyor of exotic meats, who offer a full line of mince, sausage, and even horse rump roasts. Have your Scottish friend ship you some meatballs.
12. Le Taxi Jaune, Paris (3,624 miles)
Fried horse heart and braised brain make the menu at this bistro. Of course it’s in the Marais.
13.Les Tontons, Paris (3,626 miles)
Up to fifteen “flavors” of tartare, scenically pitched in old bistro clothes opposite the old municipal abattoir. Sadly, no actual tauntauns.
14. Horse House, Vilvoorde (3,661 miles)
This small Belgian town contains a small restaurant that only sells one kind of meat. Don’t want horse? You’re in the wrong house.
15. Trattoria All’ Isola, Verona (4,096 miles)
Verona is known in regional Italian cooking circles for its love of Italian stallions. Get your daily dose of iron at this upscale restaurant.
16. Hot Horse, Ljubljana (4,218 miles)
Slovenian fast food that once galloped: The mini-chain offers “juicy colt strips” in a “real mexican tortilla,” as well as the dubious claim of “the first and only horseburger.” That’s only sort of true.
17. Tagyn Darkhan Restaurant , Yakutsk (5,230 miles)
The wine list may be extensive and there are actually white tablecloths on the tables, but you’re still in Siberia, and you have to stay warm, so you eat horse.
18. Kokavi,Temuco (5,490 miles)
The Mapuche people of Chile have a long and storied history of eating horses. Traditionally, they fry foods in horse fat and drink horse blood. This restaurant serves cazuela de caballo, a hearty stew, on occasion.
19. Jeju Mawon, Jeju (7,143 miles)
Situated on the Korean island of Jeju in a massive resort complex, this expansive 168-seat restaurant specializes in grilled horse and banchan. Badminton and bulgogi.
20. Kenzo, Kumamoto (10,319 miles)
The Japanese prefecture is known for “basashi,” or horse sashimi. It’s sliced and served sparsely, often rolled up with miso and sliced green onions, and sometimes even made into ice cream.
Earlier: Whoa: Horse Slaughter Starting Up Again in Two States
Earlier: More Bad News: Horsemeat Found in Ikea’s Swedish Meatballs and Birds Eye Products
