Couple Who Found Dead Bird in Their Salad Really Just Need to Learn How to Make Salad

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Unsuitable for vegetarians. Photo: Tesco

They seem to have bad luck with dead birds in foodstuffs in the U.K., what with that whole "Sing a Song of Sixpence" thing and now this, the tale of a Gloucestershire couple who were just sitting down to a nice steak dinner under dimmed lights when one of them discovered a large, stanky, and dead Blackcap European warbler on his plate. "My first reaction," says James Watson, "was why have I got a soggy fishcake on my plate?" But that was no soggy fishcake, and so the couple complained to retailer Tesco and were compensated with a £200 gift card, which is much better than the simple apology another British couple received the last time this exact same thing happened. Which, in a way, says something about the sorry state of cooking skills why aren't these people washing their greens before use? That's still the best way to beat salmonella, after all. Also, why wouldn't they dress greens the old-fashioned way, by evenly distributing vinaigrette to all the leafy things inside a bowl? It's much easier to spot a dead, five-inch bird that way. Also, eating under mood-lighting, we get it, but was this salad made in the dark, too? Only the warbler knows for sure, and he isn't singing anymore. [Daily Mail, Earlier]